surface pattern designer / illustrator

diamond on the hill acrylic paintingso i've been hinting around a little bit, but i decided to take the plunge and let it out into the universe  >> i want to be a surface pattern designer / illustrator when i grow up.  like most kids,  i always enjoyed drawing and doodling.  i helped a local graphic designer when i was young and wanted to be a graphic designer.  i've always wanted to write and illustrate a children's book (and my chris has always encouraged me to do so).  family and friends have encouraged me to design shirts for local road races because they thought "i'd be good at that kind of thing."  i wanted to do the illustrations for our business website (bennett running) but didn't trust my ability.  somehow in all these years of life and college and law school and having kids, i kind of forgot about those dreams. if i happened to remember them, i always used silly excuses like "i don't own photoshop or illustrator" or "i've never painted" or  "i'm not very good at drawing."

several things have happened this year to bring those hidden + forgotten desires all back into sharp, vivid, brightly-colored focus! these have all come together at the right time.  i took the mondo beyondo class and realized that no dream is too silly or farfetched - we just have to ask.  i read kelly rae's flying lessons e-books and got totally inspired.  i've watched my kids (especially maggie) draw every single day without inhibition and realized i should do the same.  i took mati and lisa's first get your paint on ecourse.  (and i'm in their second class - "beyond the basics" right now).  i realized that i can paint - and it's fun!  i'm taking holly and leslie's blogging your way class and in doing the homework, i've realized so many things about myself and what i want to do and blog about.

i was browsing the web the other day and i came across the art and business of surface pattern design ecourse. my stomach literally did a flip, my heart started racing and i got a little teeny bit dizzy. it could have been from the massive amount of chocolate chips i had just scarfed down, but i don't think so. i think it's because i found it. i've got me some direction, folks.

i hope you join me along this crazy journey. it feels scary for so many reasons.  it's going to be super hard.  i still don't have photoshop or illustrator.  i still don't always trust that i can draw.  i still have 3 tiny kids running around, a family business to tend to,  a messy house, and not much free time.  but this time i have something different.  i have a belief in myself. girl drawn in graphite
what scary-but-awesome dreams are you going after?