so there was a workshop/class offered online recently and i really, really wanted to take it. but we are living on a strict budget now and i am making very conscious decisions about where i spend my money.
the class offered to do things really important for taking my art business to the next level. the class offered to help me do things i had already set in motion. things i had already been working on very hard for over a month. things i knew i could do. things i knew how to do.
i really didn't want to miss out. i wanted to be a part of the energy of creatives moving forward in their businesses. i wasn't totally sure i would take the steps necessary to advance my business on my own without a support system of classmates.
i looked at the website every day for two weeks. i tried coming up with creative ways to come up with the money. i emailed the instructor asking if it was a good fit for me. she responded quickly and with great advice. (she said it is totally my call, the class would help if i needed the extra support.) i talked it over with my husband way more than he probably wanted (sorry and thank you chris.)
in the past, i would have signed up in the blink of an eye. there have been many classes i've signed up for over the past few years where i realized halfway through that i already knew what do and how to do it. it was just a matter of doing it.
i realize now (thanks to one of the chats i had with chris) that i have been signing up for all these classes with the thought that they will hold me accountable and make me do the work. but guess what, signing up for a class doesn't make you create the art and send it to manufacturers. just like buying a gym membership doesn't make you trim and fit.
so i took a leap of faith in myself. i made a gigantic and emotional decision that i'm going to trust myself on this one. i trust that i will do the work. i trust that i will create the art. i trust that i will send it to companies with an ask to work together. i trust that i don't need to pay someone else to tell me to do what i already know i need to do. i trust that even if i don't know exactly what to do, i'll figure it out.
i trust myself. i'll let you know how it goes.
and for the record, i sent out a big, fat, scary ask last week and am about to send another one. my plan is to do one a week.